You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
