Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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