jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
