If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
