when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
