are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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