I don't usually arrange sex via text message
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
