In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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