hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
