My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
