i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize