do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
