found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
