i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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