my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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