She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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