you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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