We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
