Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
