Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
