i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
