Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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