Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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