I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
