I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
