I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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