i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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