Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize