I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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