it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Drunk is not a location!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
