my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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