we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
