K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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