Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
