So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think my vagina is haunted
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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