people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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