I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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