I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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