Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
