it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
