there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
