dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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