the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
