Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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