You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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