Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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