help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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