Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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