it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
