Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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