Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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