i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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