STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I can't turn off my feet"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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