you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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