Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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