Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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