I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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