He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
