Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
