hotel room ftw
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
