what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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