I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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