i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
