is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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