Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
