i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
