R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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