I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
my poor anus
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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