Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
